If I Had A Penis

the first thing i would do is jack off, just to do it. i would also streak, and have LOTS of sex, just stickin my penis in random things... bagels, belt loops, bottles, anything it will fit it, ill stick it in. but i only want it for a day because vagina is sooo much better. no one knows if im horny if im a girl, but guys get boners.
thats another thing, i would want to walk around in sweats with a boner, all day long. like go grocery shopping with a raging hard-on, go to the dentist... just go everywhere with a boner. just because.
on the other side, what if guys could have a vagina for  day? i really dont wanna think about that...

Let's play "Take it out of context" with our host, me

Direct quote:
Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell Tale Heart"
"and then I thrust in my head. You would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! Very, very slowly, so I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me and hour to place my whole head within the opeing!"

Taken in context, he is sneaking in, or peeking in, on some poor defenseless old man... Shame on you Poe... Shame... On... You...

Taken out of context, it let's you in to the unique world of Poe. He used "cunningly" to describe his thrusting, which obviously imlpies rape because he had to or chose to do it "cuningly" instead of just doing it, which coincidentally also implies shame, not wanting it to be known that he was partaking in the thrusting. He also did it "very, very slowly" to keep from disturbing the old man. I don't know about you, but it doesnt matter how slowly, I ALWAYS notice when something is going in my butt... so kudos old man. Another thing is at the end of this quote he is excited that after an hour he only had the head in. It took a whole hour? I mean really, he was hard for an entire hour of penetrating this poor old man, he should have exploded waaaay before then, so kudos to Poe for holding back. On the other hand, this quote also shows that he is terrible at cyber sex or phone sex, talk about a drag... its almost a turn-off and if I said it wasn't boring I'd be lying. One last note: This poor old man did not wake up while Poe was taking FOREVER to rape him. Either this old man had enourmous turds everyday and was really loose (ew), or POE HAS A TINY PENIS.
It's ok Poe... being a poet makes up for it, you can still get pussy, so why rape old men? Next time go for the hot chick that has no idea you are a total creepster :)

My First Post

So as my first post I would like to talk about something very important to me. when i figure out what that is i will let you know, but until then lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about you and me, lets see what our love can be, baaaaaaaaaaby! no but seriously, the world is a crazy place right now. it revolves around sex and drugs. sex, i get that, sex is great, i love it, thats all there is to it. now on that point, lets go to prostitution. why is it illegal??? is sex legal? yes. is selling legal? yes. is selling sex legal? no. WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA??? (not talking to nebraska, go team!) i mean seriously, what is sooo bad about making people happy? show me ONE person who doesnt like orgasming. ONE. can you? no. why? EVERYONE likes to orgasm, it just feels good, it makes you less stressed out, bottome line : ORGASMS MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. what god did to mary was just completely unfair. sex is the fun part of having a baby, and he just ripped that joy away from her making her pregnant and skipping a vital and joyful step of motherhood...
life isnt fair. luckily i get sex before i get pregnant. and i do what i can to get a lot of it. (with one person who i am completely exclusive with and commited to you, i am not a ho).
with all that said, there should be a search engine on every prostitutes stand-madated phone allowing them to check the relationship status of their client and should not be allowed to serve engaged or married people. cheating is wrong. cheaters who are not sorry for it should burn in hell... nuff said.